Whether you have multiples or a newborn and a toddler (or more), you might decide that you want to provide human milk for more than one of your children at the same time. This can happen in various ways. The term tandem nursing conjures up the image of one baby feeding on each breast simultaneously. But it could also mean feeding those babies with your body at different times. It might mean that you feed your newborn eight times a day and your toddler for nap and bedtime only. It could also mean you put one baby to the breast and pump your milk for another baby or child. For a parent with three nurslings the variety of ways to share your milk  increases!

For twins or higher order multiples there is often a certain juggle that goes on during the first year. With regular breast stimulation, many lactating parents are able to make a robust milk supply that satisfies the needs of all their babies. Others might be able to provide their own milk for some or most of the feeds and then use supplemental donor milk or formula for the remaining feeds. Whatever works best for you, it is important to share the human milk you do have evenly between the babies so they all get the health benefits. When latching on the babies in the early days, it might be easier to feed one baby at a time. As the babies learn and you become more proficient you may find it possible to latch on one first and then add another baby a few moments later. It might help to have another person to bring you the second baby and help get them situated. For some people this does not work because the babies get in each other's way or they simply need more hands on help to effectively feed at the breast. With a singleton we always say to start on the opposite side for the next feed. With multiple babies it is generally a good idea to rotate which baby is on which breast at each feed. With triplets or higher this may mean two babies are on your body and one gets a bottle. Then at the next feed a different baby gets the bottle and so on.

When feeding children of different ages your milk, their needs are different so the way you provide your milk to them should adjust to match. It is generally safe to breastfeed your toddler through a healthy singleton pregnancy but it is always good to discuss with your midwife or obstetrician. Your milk production will lower significantly during your pregnancy and the taste may change. Some toddlers do not care for this and will wean at this time. Others do not mind and are glad to have the quiet time suckling and snuggling. Towards the end of your pregnancy you will be making colostrum for the new baby but do not worry, your toddler won’t take it from the baby. Your body continuously produces it in response to the demand and there will be plenty for your newborn when they arrive. 

When your toddler sees you feeding your newborn so frequently they may feel jealous and demand to be at the breast more than before the birth. It is important that the younger baby is fed first. An efficient toddler can drain a breast in just a couple of minutes! The toddler will be able to eat solid foods and drink water so you don’t want them to take away the newborn’s entire meal. Offering the breast to the toddler after the baby is satiated can provide the toddler with the closeness they desire and your body will likely rise to the demand and produce more milk for them.

Once the newborn masters breastfeeding you may find it possible to nurse both children at the same time. This could become a super power in terms of parenting and give you all a peaceful moment to sit and snuggle. Often, nurslings will hold hands and appreciate the closeness the three of you share together. But this picture of tranquility is not always possible! Toddlers are known for their changing moods and may find it hard not to touch and disturb the baby. It is good to set limits on acceptable behaviors at the breast. If a toddler cannot respect these limits they can wait their turn once the baby has had their fill. 

A toddler who has previously weaned may wish to return to the breast when they see their new sibling feeding so often. This is a personal choice that you can make for yourself. The toddler might have their curiosity satisfied by being allowed to try it once and then decide it’s not for them. Many toddlers forget how to latch on surprisingly quickly. In general, toddlers are too busy to want to sit and nurse very frequently or very often. A child may continue to have some human milk up to the age of 7 years. The last few years tend to only be morning and bedtime. The last feeds to go at all ages are generally bedtime, morning and nap times.

If an older child is jealous of the new baby being on you all the time it can help to have a box of books or games next to the place you tend to nurse. You can hold the baby with one arm and snuggle the toddler in close with a book on the other side. Bringing an alternative drink or snack for the older child may also help if you don’t want to offer them the breast at every feeding.

A further method to consider is pumping your milk and giving it to your older child(ren) in a cup or mixed into their food. This could be done whether the child is still actively breastfeeding or not. The benefits of human milk continue for these older children so it can be a wonderful advantage of having children of different ages.

You will figure out the best way to make this work for your family. Every family is different and can explore the myriad ways to provide human milk for their children.